Top Ten Artists I'd Like To See Write Some New Christmas Classics
10. Super Furry Animals
I wouldn't even know what to expect really. A simple, lo-fi acoustic ballad sung in Welsh? Or a technicolor explosion of banjos and glitchy beats with lyrics written from the perspective of a drunken Rudolph?
9. Sizzla
Anyone who's heard Sizzla's version of "Subterranean Homesick Blues" knows that Sizzla has the capacity to deliver something out of the ordinary. And at the rate Sizzla cranks out albums, he'd probably have a dozen Christmas tunes knocked out by the time I finish typing this sentence.
8. Beta Band
Yeah, I know they broke up. But Christmas is a time of miracles, so who knows. What would the Beta Band come up with? Let's see... clanging cowbells, junky acoustic guitars, and sped-up chipmunk vocals? Sounds about right.
7. Doves
Anyone familiar with the Doves will surely understand why they're on this list. They'll deliver a cozy dose of Christmas wonder that will soothe you to sleep in front of the fireplace.
6. Pulp
Jarvis Cocker's penchant for colorful storytelling ensures their place on my list. Imagine him whispering through a perverse twist on "Twas The Night Before Christmas" and you get the idea.
5. Mike Jones feat. Paul Wall
Ok. You know this would be sick! Do I even need to go into detail? Purple egg nog and a diamond-fronted smooch under the Mistletoe. Picturing both of these guys posted up in Santa hats is reason enough for this entry.
4. Pete Doherty
A forlorn Christmas tale from tabloid hell. Rock's easiest punching bag surely could deliver the goods. I mean, just look at this guy. Did he not stumble directly out of the pages of Dickens? How can this guy not write a timeless Christmas classic?
3. Flaming Lips
Too easy? Maybe. A good 80% of their last two albums sound like Christmas music anyway. They're way overdue for a cosmic Yuletide opus.
2. Animal Collective
These guys are probably the only entry on this list that could truly capture the euphoric, chaotic energy that bursts forth from every child, at that precise moment every Christmas morning when they wake up and first realize that yes, it's fucking Christmas!
1. Kanye West feat. Jay-Z
The epic blast of Christmas cheer that this country needs right now could only come from these two. Lock them both in Abbey Road with Rick Rubin, the London Symphony Orchestra, and the Vienna Boy's Choir. Christmas will never be the same.
I wouldn't even know what to expect really. A simple, lo-fi acoustic ballad sung in Welsh? Or a technicolor explosion of banjos and glitchy beats with lyrics written from the perspective of a drunken Rudolph?
9. Sizzla
Anyone who's heard Sizzla's version of "Subterranean Homesick Blues" knows that Sizzla has the capacity to deliver something out of the ordinary. And at the rate Sizzla cranks out albums, he'd probably have a dozen Christmas tunes knocked out by the time I finish typing this sentence.
8. Beta Band
Yeah, I know they broke up. But Christmas is a time of miracles, so who knows. What would the Beta Band come up with? Let's see... clanging cowbells, junky acoustic guitars, and sped-up chipmunk vocals? Sounds about right.
7. Doves
Anyone familiar with the Doves will surely understand why they're on this list. They'll deliver a cozy dose of Christmas wonder that will soothe you to sleep in front of the fireplace.
6. Pulp
Jarvis Cocker's penchant for colorful storytelling ensures their place on my list. Imagine him whispering through a perverse twist on "Twas The Night Before Christmas" and you get the idea.
5. Mike Jones feat. Paul Wall
Ok. You know this would be sick! Do I even need to go into detail? Purple egg nog and a diamond-fronted smooch under the Mistletoe. Picturing both of these guys posted up in Santa hats is reason enough for this entry.
4. Pete Doherty
A forlorn Christmas tale from tabloid hell. Rock's easiest punching bag surely could deliver the goods. I mean, just look at this guy. Did he not stumble directly out of the pages of Dickens? How can this guy not write a timeless Christmas classic?
3. Flaming Lips
Too easy? Maybe. A good 80% of their last two albums sound like Christmas music anyway. They're way overdue for a cosmic Yuletide opus.
2. Animal Collective
These guys are probably the only entry on this list that could truly capture the euphoric, chaotic energy that bursts forth from every child, at that precise moment every Christmas morning when they wake up and first realize that yes, it's fucking Christmas!
1. Kanye West feat. Jay-Z
The epic blast of Christmas cheer that this country needs right now could only come from these two. Lock them both in Abbey Road with Rick Rubin, the London Symphony Orchestra, and the Vienna Boy's Choir. Christmas will never be the same.
posted by Dispenser Magazine at 8:02 PM
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